Harry Dresden

[The feed clicks on with Harry in the Goldenrod Pokemon Center. He's obviously got the Gear propped up on something, as he sits back in a waiting-room chair to reveal a tiny Cyndaquil sleeping in his arms. He's silent for a moment, looking a bit uncomfortable.]

So... I woke up this morning and this little girl was hatching.

[A glance down at the sleeping Pokemon, almost like he's worried about breaking her.]

Do, ah, do baby Pokemon need any kind of special care? I mean like a liquid diet or anything?

Smoo-chu! Chum!

[A small hand waves over one side of the screen, revealing that Harry has his Smoochum playing cameraman today. Harry himself just glances up, looking sort of annoyed for a second.]

Thanks Lara, that's a HUGE help.

( Action behind the cut. )

[Video]
[At first, the screen wobbles, showing mostly sky. The sounds of someone poking at the Pokegear can be heard, fingers brushing across the microphone.]

Always figured Hell’d be more fire and brimstone than this. Maybe infinite screenings of the Star Wars Christmas special. But no, me, I get little fiddly electronic things with unmarked buttons. Don't I feel special... and now I'm talking to myself. That can't be healthy.

[The screen steadies to reveal a tired-looking man poking around the screen on his Pokegear, looking a bit unsure. A curious Smoochum occasionally bounces up into frame, trying to see.]

Okay, the blinking HAL-9000 eye-of-death means this is going, right? Mab, Maeve, whoever's behind this, you’re not nearly as funny as you think. The background music is a nice touch, very impressive piece of magic, I have to admit. It's just catchy enough to stick in the head, just annoying enough to encourage experiments in self-trepanning.

Murphy, Molly, Thomas, if any of you are seeing this somehow... there are some things that I have to do alone, out of pride, or because the danger to others is too great. This is not one of those times, and if I ever say something is, I'm probably being stupid or being manipulated or both. But be careful. If I'm right, the Faeries aren't going to take too kindly to mortals poking their heads in.